One of the deepest and most primal of our emotional needs is to be connected with others and feel that we matter.
Relationships take many forms but one of the most important is when we choose a partner to share our life with. While there is a lot of joy that comes with this relationship, it also requires an enormous amount of work. The modern world can wreak havoc on the modern family; time constraints, financial strain, parenting styles, career demands, and the various obligations of family members are among the factors that slowly erode the connection between couples. When this is not attended to, the gap between couples can widen, creating even more tension, and introducing feelings of disconnection, frustration, loneliness, and sadness.
Often couples develop patterns of communication and behaviour that get in the way of being able to be there for each other. Understanding these negative patterns can be the first step toward doing something different, introducing behaviours that will allow both to move closer to each other rather than farther apart.
Learning to talk openly, being vulnerable with our partners about our own needs, while learning about theirs, navigating our unhelpful patterns and understanding our triggers, are all skills that are critical to developing and maintaining healthy relationships but may not have been taught to or modeled for us.
In counselling, my role is to help couples share their thoughts, hurts, and hopes so that people can create a new vision together and develop the skills necessary to cope with the challenges of realtionships and family life in the 21st century.